learned helplessness

i'm in a class now on the internet and have had the urge to write my professor several times with questions and then thought... maybe i should try to find the answers on the class webpage... and then i find the answers... i'd rather not make an ass of myself, but i come so close so often.

here at panera, yes again, i am sitting on a bench that is mounted to the wall. i sit here cuz it's comfy and cuz there's an outlet for my puter. i was thinking, though, that it's got a disadvantage in that i have to lay my coat next to me and that takes up a seat next to me and if it gets crowded people may be annoyed. so i was gonna ask about coathooks. then, an hour later, i realize there's a chair on the other side of the table where no one will be sitting, and i put my coat there.

how stupid would it have been to ask for a coathook??

i don't know how i learned helplessness, but i think i have learned it well... in this short time of working here i almost made a stupid ass of myself to my college prof. and the panera workers. who knows what other stupid things i've done without realizing it?

oh, i also woke up at 8:24 yesterday when i was supposed to be at school at 8:15. i woke with the usual expletives and rushed to work. luckily i had these circumstances going for me:

- friday jeans day
- showered the night before
- had a can of chunky soup and yogurt at school
- light traffic

so i made it to school at 8:43, two minutes before the tardy bell, which rings 1/2 an hour after i should have been there. notice how acutely aware of minutes i am when running late, whereas usually i would say i arrive at school somewhere between 7&7:30, but could never say within 10 or 15 minutes when i got there.