should i stay or should i go...

rather than pitching a baseball game today, zambrano was pitching a fit by the 5th inning. he threw 35 pitches in the 5th and had no outs... and they took him out.

whatever. so i have only this week left in 2 of my isu classes - a test on wednesday, a paper due friday, a reading record due tuesday, oh, and a personal text set due tuesday... jeez.

i'm trying to decide what to do about next year - stay in peoria regardless of where i may end up, move home, apply at dunlap, move to chicago... the chicago thing appeals cuz i'd try to get an apartment near whatever school i work in, and i'd have my bike and the bus and whatever...

so. it's hard to decide when no one else is really affected by where i go. of course there's family up home and they'd like it if i chose to go up there or to chicago. there's friends here in peoria and i don't wanna move away from them.

when i think of staying in peoria, sometimes i think it's not the coolest place to be and it sucks sometimes. but then i think, as a teacher i have 2.5 months in the summer plus breaks, and so peoria is really just a place to hang my hat - so the fact that it can suck sometimes isn't really that bad.

but the pull to home/chicago vs. peoria is kind of even, and so really it's just 'where do i wanna be?'

finishing the masters' program at isu and being probably transferred within the clusterf**k that is the district where i work makes me think of getting out. it had been that i didn't even have the option of moving away because of the masters' program. now options are open. jeez. maybe england will help clear my mind. maybe i'll just stay in england. is that allowed?